hangin' on a jet plane.

as i sit here i am disciplining myself for having just eaten the airplane mashed potatoes and 'roast beef'...that's what they called it, anyhow. i am fully aware that i am headed to asia, as on two of my meal plates i have been provided with a side of sushi. this simply ensures my idea that i will, most assuredly, starve to death. however, the mashed potatoes weren't actually that bad. i am, however, kicking myself for not bringing any ketchup like i should've.

i have on my winter coat, ear warmers, and two blankets, and my nose feels as though it has previously belonged to that of an arctic snowman - chilled to the touch. any minute now i am expecting to see visible breaths 'round the plane... annnny minute.

i've befriended one of the flight attendants named lisa. she helped me to find a temporary home for my guitar for the flight. she also gave me two big bags of the best mixed nuts i've ever tried and two cokes. i must say, though, that if my witty banter and sarcasm is visible to an outward member on an airplane... then i am in awfully big trouble. sarcasm runs through my veins, and she told me to be careful about it. haha. oi vey!

you know, i have been on six overseas flights in the last two years. and this one, by far outweighs them all. the turbulence is never-ending and is very much so ever-present. it is, what i would imagine, a level 4 earthquake to be...if you were sitting on the floor the entire time strapped in a children's seat...for 14 hours. after watching my first movie, swing vote, i decided that my ADHD could not possibly contained any longer. so i preceded to begin my first round of 'isle walking'. it was quite an adventure let me tell you. the turbulence going on provided a similar notion to that if i were surfing. or what i would imagine being inside a 90 year old man's body consumed by parkinson's would be like... bless his lil' ole' heart! i put my hands out and closed my eyes and pretended to be doing just that. i think i should take up surfing this summer. i am certain that the waves of the ocean cannot beat that of a 500 mph flight in place of mind-numbing turbulence. i pretended to surf until the looks from my fellow passengers uprooted my self-consciousness. thanks guys.

( 3 hours later)

i have walked up and down the isles around 8 times now, and have been stopped by the same elderly man who for some unapparent reason whole-heartedly believes that i am the flight attendant that can fulfill his passenger dreams. his wife viciously corrected him the first time informing him that my wardrobe [which consisted of jeans, tshirt, big red coat, and ear muffs] did not uphold the known stewardess apparel. the second time she apologized and punched him blatantly in the gut. such a lovely couple they were.

(2 hours later)

i am currently watching the dark night. oh heathy sweetheart, how i miss you so! seeing him perform brings up such unheard of emotions! (sarcasm...) no, but really. he and i would have made extremely adorable babies.

right now we are flying over alaska. sara told me to go look outside and by-golly... it was absolutely beautiful. i took a crap load of pictures of which i'll have to post later since i'm using her computer. but i have never in my life seen such visions that i saw from 3800 feet above! i even brought yoda, jr. to see the view. an i am fairly certain that the flight attendants are somewhat annoyed with my ADHD. i can only sit for so long, though. oh look...the bering sea!!! ahhh. neat-o.

if nothing else, though, throughout this 14 hour flight i have been assured that karma is NOT to be messed with. just last night i was laughing hysterically when drew berrymore had her elbow nailed by the food cart in 'the wedding singer'. so funny to watch. absolutely NOT funny to partake in. my poor funny bone... it's all laughed out.

okay, i ought to close and attempt to sleep a bit. if only the plane's habitual 'ticking' would quit and i could submerge myself in deep REM. if only...

much love my people. next i write i'll be on asian soil. saweeet action!

-kam-dogggg.